Harry Potter fans can probably think of nothing better than reading a new book starring their favourite bespectacled boy wizard.
In the meantime, we’d heartily advise them to have a look at a short little tome called ‘Harry Potter and The Portrait of What Looked Like a Large Pile of Ash’.
This brand new story was written by a ‘bot’, which is the name for a piece of software designed to automatically perform tasks.
A team from Botnik Studios trained up their bot by feeding it all seven books in the Harry Potter series.
It was then asked to write its own chapter, which starts with the epic words: ‘Magic: it was something which Harry Potter thought was very good.’
Harry’s ghost is then depicted trudging through ‘leathery sheets of rain’ before he comes across Ron doing a ‘frenzied tap dance’.
Then, without a word being uttered, Ron sees Harry and ‘immediately begins to eat Hermione’s family’.
Things don’t really improve much after this unfortunate incident, with Ron experiencing a bit of a meltdown when Death Eaters land on top of his castle.
‘Ron was going to be spiders,’ the narrative continues.
‘He just was. He wasn’t proud of that, but it was going to be hard to not have spiders all over his body after all is said and done.’
A ‘shabby robed ghost’ called Mr Staircase then turns up and fails to give the right password to get through a locked door, prompting Hermione to yell: ‘The password is BEEF WOMEN.’
Subsequently, an encounter with Voldemort prompts Harry to tear his own eyes out of his head, before he dips Hermione in hot sauce and visits a banquet where ‘several long pumpkins fell out of McGonagall’.
Poor old Harry Potter than ‘falls down the spiral staircase for the rest of summer’ and yells: ‘I’m Harry Potter. The dark arts better be worried, oh boy.’
But should J.K. Rowling be worried? Let us know in the poll below.
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