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Expecting women to ‘Ride or Die’ is so boringly lame

(Illustration: Deirdre Spain for Ride or Die has been used in rap since time immemorial..

By admin , in Life , at October 23, 2017

Expecting women to 'Ride or Die' is so boringly lame
(Illustration: Deirdre Spain for

Ride or Die has been used in rap since time immemorial to describe a woman who’s willing to stick with a dude, regardless of how badly he f*cks up.

Type Ride or Die into Spotify and you get well over 400 results of songs describing a time when some bloke was high or on the run – but was fine because they had their ever loyal slice with them.

It doesn’t matter if he’s in the nick on a 10-year drug sentence, or if he’s been caught with his pants down, the Ride or Die chick remains solid, immovable.

She’s fine with stashing cash or wraps under a mattress away from prying police eyes as long as it’s helping hubby.

Expecting women to 'Ride or Die' is so boringly lame
(Picture: Spotify)

No wonder she’s the kind of girlfriend a hoodrat wants. Who wouldn’t want someone to stay with them even if they’d been an absolute tosser?

The other week, Gucci Mane got wed to Keyshia Ka’oir and it sparked a load of chat about how Keyshia was the ideal woman because you know, she’d stuck by him through all the jail time, drug time, cheating time.

‘She was with Wild Gucci, on drugs Gucci, cheating Gucci, in jail Gucci, publicity with other women Gucci. This is Gucci after therapy, rehabilitation. This is a street man groomed in his 30s after he’s been at his lowest,’ wrote @ceopapidon.

‘Point is, this is a RIDER who know what she signed up for. You b*****s (are) with the next n**** after a couple of fights.’

Because dumping your boyfriend after a few fights is being temperamental right? Whatever he does, whatever he says, you should put up with it, anticipate it.

Then other dudes piled in, calling the rider mentality ‘the most valuable part of a woman’.


But there was one absolutely brilliant thread (which Konbini drew our attention to), that properly summed up all that’s wrong with expecting women to Ride or Die:

I'm not a "ride or die" chick and I'm unapologetic about it. Stop trying to guilt women for not staying with men through their bullshit.

? (@delafro_) October 17, 2017

Because Ride or Die normalises abuse

My worth as a woman doesn't stem from what I'm willing to put up with to prove my "loyalty" and you can not convince me otherwise.

? (@delafro_) October 17, 2017

Puts women’s needs second

Peep how no one asks for men to sit through a woman putting them through hell but yet this duty is always placed on women.

? (@delafro_) October 17, 2017

Makes women feel like they’re being disloyal if they stand up for themselves

Because unlike women, men aren't told they're completely worthless if they're not tied to a woman (not just sexually).

? (@delafro_) October 17, 2017

Makes them feel worthless

BC unlike women, men aren't told that they have to be so forgiving of women–to make a lot of room for error. The bar is higher for women.

? (@delafro_) October 17, 2017

Allows men to get away with acting like d*ckheads without any sort of consequence

I just want y'all to understand how inhumane it is to tell someone they need to stay while someone is putting them thru hell. What?

? (@delafro_) October 17, 2017

Which is always a good policy

That kind of attitude brings into question just how much men value women, and if we’re being honest, how much black men respect black women.

Ride or Die is a concept which (as far as I’m aware) is largely concentrated in urban communities. That might be because originally, ethnic minorities have had to jump through various hoops, had to hustle to make a living, had to endure very real hardships to stay afloat – and the idea of having a woman there through it all made sense. If you feared being sent down on a trumped up charge in a racist society, you might need someone who would be willing to continue raising your kids, earning money, supporting you.

But these days, there’s no need to fall into criminality. There’s no need to cheat and philander. There’s no need to treat women like a piece of shitty property that you own until one of you keels over.

Everytime, black men talk about loving black women, it's always about labor & how much they can suck the life out of us to prove our worth

— rosechocglam (@rosechocglam) October 17, 2017

Loyalty actually isn’t the be all and end all. It’s a two-way street and is often the product of a loving, respectful relationship.

Expecting women to be loyal regardless to the situation is misogyny at its worst. Be better, and the need for someone to declare their loyalty is dissolved.

Bc shes any amazing woman who brought out the best in me”.

— bobby❣️| pinned ? (@cheolsbabymama) October 18, 2017

It’s high time women, and particularly women of colour, were treated better by society.

And we can start by acknowledging that Ride or Die should just die.

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